Our counselling appointment on Thursday went really well. The counsellor repeated a lot of the same questions she asked last time which made me wonder if she even remembered out last session?! But towards the end she really seemed to warm to us and at the end she said she was happy that we had completed our couple's counselling. Yay!
On Tuesday we have our group counselling session with IPs and then the counselling will be over. We then have a social worker visiting us and IPs. After this, the hospital will have a panel meeting to decide our fate! Hopefully they will give us the go ahead and we can finally start treatment. We're still keeping our fingers crossed for a May/June transfer.
I'm really looking forward to seing IPs again on Tuesday. Will try to remember to post afterwards about how it went.
Saturday, 14 March 2009
Tuesday, 10 March 2009
One Step Closer
I haven't posted lately because there hasn't been much to report!
We finally got our appointment on the 5th February. We had some bloods taken and talked through the IVF process. Then dh and I attended our first counselling session. It was quite interesting but I did feel a bit like the counsellor was clutching at straws and trying to find things to talk about! It's very obvious that we've already done a lot of research and have already talked everything through with COTS. But the hospital have a duty of care and need to make sure we complete their counselling programme before we can proceed.
We have our next counselling session on Thursday. Then we need to arrange a group counselling session with the IPs. Shortly after that we should finally be able to start the IVF process.
It's all taking a long time and has been a bit of a rollercoaster. But in some ways that's been good because it's given IM and I plenty of time to chat things through. I feel as though we have become very close over the last few months and I can't wait to help her to have her baby. I also hope to involve her as much as possible in the pregnancy and birth to make sure she can bond with the baby.
There was a documentary on TV last night called "Addicted to Surrogacy". All media is great for surrogacy awareness, but this particular documentary seemed to concentrate on the eccentric surrogates and the extreme relationships. It wasn't very representative of most surrogacy arrangements. It's a real shame because it made surrogates look a little crazy!
Anyway, I'm looking forward to the counselling appointment on Thursday. Not so much because of the actual counselling, but just that it is one step closer to our destination!!
We finally got our appointment on the 5th February. We had some bloods taken and talked through the IVF process. Then dh and I attended our first counselling session. It was quite interesting but I did feel a bit like the counsellor was clutching at straws and trying to find things to talk about! It's very obvious that we've already done a lot of research and have already talked everything through with COTS. But the hospital have a duty of care and need to make sure we complete their counselling programme before we can proceed.
We have our next counselling session on Thursday. Then we need to arrange a group counselling session with the IPs. Shortly after that we should finally be able to start the IVF process.
It's all taking a long time and has been a bit of a rollercoaster. But in some ways that's been good because it's given IM and I plenty of time to chat things through. I feel as though we have become very close over the last few months and I can't wait to help her to have her baby. I also hope to involve her as much as possible in the pregnancy and birth to make sure she can bond with the baby.
There was a documentary on TV last night called "Addicted to Surrogacy". All media is great for surrogacy awareness, but this particular documentary seemed to concentrate on the eccentric surrogates and the extreme relationships. It wasn't very representative of most surrogacy arrangements. It's a real shame because it made surrogates look a little crazy!
Anyway, I'm looking forward to the counselling appointment on Thursday. Not so much because of the actual counselling, but just that it is one step closer to our destination!!
Sunday, 11 January 2009
Happy New Year
I had to cancel our appointment at the hospital last week because we couldn't get any childcare. It's a shame because it will delay things again. But I've managed to rearrange them for the 21st January so hopefully everything will go smoothly this time!
We've had mixed reactions from our families about our surrogacy plans. My mum is really supportive, my dad is a little unsure but is supportive, but dh's mum is really unsure about it. She tries to avoid talking about it. But we're not going to change our minds now. We really want to help our IP's to have their baby. I can't imagine what it must be like not to have a child of your own and if we were in the IP's shoes, we would want someone to help us. I think dh's mum will come around eventually.
We've had mixed reactions from our families about our surrogacy plans. My mum is really supportive, my dad is a little unsure but is supportive, but dh's mum is really unsure about it. She tries to avoid talking about it. But we're not going to change our minds now. We really want to help our IP's to have their baby. I can't imagine what it must be like not to have a child of your own and if we were in the IP's shoes, we would want someone to help us. I think dh's mum will come around eventually.
Sunday, 28 December 2008
Counselling
I haven't posted lately as there hasn't been much to report.
My dh and I have an appointment booked at the hospital for our counselling in January. The IPs also have a counselling appointment booked with a different counsellor (to avoid conflict of interest). Once we've all had counselling and a 'cooling off period' we can go ahead with the first transfer.
I'm very keen to get started and I feel certain that I want to do this for my IPs. But the hospital insist on taking things slowly which I guess I understand. They don't want any of us to rush into anything we might regret. But I'm sure I won't regret it. I cant wait to help my IPs have their baby and I'm really excited about the future!
My dh and I have an appointment booked at the hospital for our counselling in January. The IPs also have a counselling appointment booked with a different counsellor (to avoid conflict of interest). Once we've all had counselling and a 'cooling off period' we can go ahead with the first transfer.
I'm very keen to get started and I feel certain that I want to do this for my IPs. But the hospital insist on taking things slowly which I guess I understand. They don't want any of us to rush into anything we might regret. But I'm sure I won't regret it. I cant wait to help my IPs have their baby and I'm really excited about the future!
Saturday, 1 November 2008
Hospital Appointment
On Tuesday we went to an appointment at the IP's hospital. We met up beforehand for lunch which was lovely.
The appointment went well. The hospital seem to know what they're doing and said they've had several successful surrogacy arrangements go through them before, which is reassuring. We all have to have counselling first, with a cooling-off period to make sure we are all 100% happy. We are looking at around March 09 to start transfers.
They prefer to do drug cycles so that they have total control over my cycle and the IM's cycle. But this way we can easily do a fresh transfer which has the best chance of success. They will transfer 2 embryos at a time, unless I'd prefer just one at a time. But I think I'm okay with doing two. I want to give the IP's the best possible chance.
I'm really excited about the road ahead! I'm just waiting for my first counselling appointment now and we can get cracking!
The appointment went well. The hospital seem to know what they're doing and said they've had several successful surrogacy arrangements go through them before, which is reassuring. We all have to have counselling first, with a cooling-off period to make sure we are all 100% happy. We are looking at around March 09 to start transfers.
They prefer to do drug cycles so that they have total control over my cycle and the IM's cycle. But this way we can easily do a fresh transfer which has the best chance of success. They will transfer 2 embryos at a time, unless I'd prefer just one at a time. But I think I'm okay with doing two. I want to give the IP's the best possible chance.
I'm really excited about the road ahead! I'm just waiting for my first counselling appointment now and we can get cracking!
Sunday, 26 October 2008
The next step ...
I'm so excited about Tuesday! My IP's have an appointment at their hospital to discuss the surrogacy and I will be going with them. We've arranged to meet up beforehand and they're treating me to lunch. I'm not sure what to expect at the appointment but I assume we will talk about the hospitals IVF process and whatever options we have. We're hoping to get started in the New Year.
I have been reading about the different IVF processes and it's all a little bit daunting! But I don't have any doubts that this is what I want to do. I'm so excited about the journey ahead.
I will post more after we've been to the appointment ...
I have been reading about the different IVF processes and it's all a little bit daunting! But I don't have any doubts that this is what I want to do. I'm so excited about the journey ahead.
I will post more after we've been to the appointment ...
Tuesday, 14 October 2008
Agreement Session
On Sunday my IPs came to my house for our Agreement Session. We were joined by a support worker from COTS who talked us through the form and made sure we were all happy with how we were going to proceed.
The session went very well and we all came away feeling happy about everything. There were difficult issues on the form but I had completed a specimen form prior to the meeting so the IPs knew what to expect. I decided that I could not agree to a termination if there was anything wrong with the baby and the IPs have had time to talk that through and decide that they are okay with it. I also don't want to have an amnio because of the risk of miscarriage but the IPs don't particularly want one either. If an amnio, or worse still, a termination, are advised by a doctor at any time, then I will consider all the information and discuss it with the IPs before making a decision, but I need them to know that I can't make any promises. I have to remember to be true to my own beliefs.
We also talked about who would be present at the birth. I know dh doesn't want to be there. He hated seeing me in pain with our own babies and I don't want to put him through that again. So I have asked my mum to be there instead. But I am also happy for both IPs to be there which they are really happy about. I think it's important because it's their child after all. It's one of those precious moments in life and I want them to be able to experience that.
I can't believe I'm actually going to be pregnant again! I'm so excited and I couldn't imagine doing it for anyone else. My IPs are getting excited, too. We have the first clinic appointment in a couple of weeks and I can't wait to find out more. If all goes well, we'd like to start in January.
The session went very well and we all came away feeling happy about everything. There were difficult issues on the form but I had completed a specimen form prior to the meeting so the IPs knew what to expect. I decided that I could not agree to a termination if there was anything wrong with the baby and the IPs have had time to talk that through and decide that they are okay with it. I also don't want to have an amnio because of the risk of miscarriage but the IPs don't particularly want one either. If an amnio, or worse still, a termination, are advised by a doctor at any time, then I will consider all the information and discuss it with the IPs before making a decision, but I need them to know that I can't make any promises. I have to remember to be true to my own beliefs.
We also talked about who would be present at the birth. I know dh doesn't want to be there. He hated seeing me in pain with our own babies and I don't want to put him through that again. So I have asked my mum to be there instead. But I am also happy for both IPs to be there which they are really happy about. I think it's important because it's their child after all. It's one of those precious moments in life and I want them to be able to experience that.
I can't believe I'm actually going to be pregnant again! I'm so excited and I couldn't imagine doing it for anyone else. My IPs are getting excited, too. We have the first clinic appointment in a couple of weeks and I can't wait to find out more. If all goes well, we'd like to start in January.
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