Monday, 5 April 2010

New home for a new beginning ...

I have decided to move my blog over to Wordpress:

I am still in the process of setting it up, but I will post all future updates on the new blog and have moved all previous posts across.

I promise to keep it updated from now on!!

Tuesday, 20 October 2009

The Next Chapter

It is about time that I started the next chapter in my journey!

It has been a difficult few weeks, especially for my IPs. But we are all ready to start again and getting excited about the future.

I have been on the birth control pill for about 3 weeks now. IM also started last week. We have our baseline scans next Tuesday and then should start injecting the Buserelin some time next week.

Egg collection and transfer should be around the first week of December if all goes to plan.

We had an appointment with the consultant at the hospital a few weeks ago and she said that in her opinion the miscarriage was "just one of those things". There's nothing we could have done. The embryos were good quality, but obviously just weren't intended to become babies. There's no reason to think the same thing will happen again.

Another thing we discussed was the poor fertilisation rate we had last time. Out of 19 eggs only 3 fertilised, and only two were good quality. The consultant believes that if we use ICSI this time we will have a much better result.

I'm really looking forward to trying again. But I am a bit anxious about things going wrong again. Hopefully this time everything will work out.

Tuesday, 1 September 2009

The end of one chapter and the beginning of the next ...

It is with great sadness that I must bring my blog up to date ...

We'd hoped that the light bleeding I'd experienced was nothing to worry about. But unfortunately it was my body's way of telling me that things were not going well. We were all beginning to feel more optimistic when on Thursday I had a bright red bleed. It wasn't a lot, but enough to make me worry. I went to A&E and IPs met me there.

The A&E doc checked me over and then looked at our notes ... the nurse had performed a urine test which had come up negative for pregnancy. We couldn't believe it when he told us and were all devastated. Unhelpfully, the doc just told us to go home and do a home pregnancy test in the morning. I bought some on my way home and did one that evening and another in the morning. Both came up positive, but the line was much weaker than it had been previously. We all knew deep down what had happened but we needed someone to tell it to us straight. So IM booked a private appointment. We met a lovely doctor who performed a scan for us. There was nothing there :-( The embryos were gone and my lining was thin.

The doc thinks I miscarried a few days previously and the fertility meds I was taking were making me hold on to something that had already ended. He told me to come off the meds, which I did, and then I started cramping and bleeding properly.

I feel so very disappointed. I was so sure that things would be okay. I also feel very empty. It's a strange feeling. But most of all, I feel so very sorry for my IPs.

We will try again. I am more than happy to do it all again. So this is not the end, it's just another step in our journey x x x

Wednesday, 26 August 2009

5+2 weeks

The first few days after the positive test were fantastic. I think we all felt so elated that it worked first time. But we were brought back down to earth at the weekend when I had some bleeding. It wasn't heavy, but went on for 3 days. And I am still getting some spotting every day. But we have been told that bleeding is common with IVF pregnancies. We have no reason to believe anything bad has happened as it was 'old blood' (brown) and there were no clots. We've been told that if I have any fresh bleeding (red) or pain then I should go straight to A&E. Otherwise we just carry on as normal and go for our scan on the 3rd.

It has made me very anxious. I usually try to be quite laid back while pregnant but I must admit that this has worried me a little. But I am staying positive. I have lots of pregnancy symptoms: mild morning sickness, constant dizziness (have had that since a few days after the transfer) and the lower part of my tummy is already starting to feel a swollen.

I actually had a very similar bleed with my son (who is now 4). But I didn't know I was pregnant at the time so I had nothing to worry about! I only did a test because I thought it was odd that my period had lasted only a couple of days ... and it was positive!

This time, when I first saw the blood, I panicked and thought it was all over! It was only when I gathered my thoughts that I realised it was only light and was old blood, so possible just leftover from implantation - maybe just a bit of excess lining coming away. Now that everything has settled down, I feel confident again.

So we just have to get through the next week and then we will have the scan. Then hopefully we'll have an uneventful 8 months to go! The big question is, will there be one baby or two?!

Wednesday, 19 August 2009

Scan Date

Today was the official test day. The hospital gave me a home pregnancy test to take today. I did it first thing this morning and it came up positive straight away! As you can see, it's lovely and clear.
I emailed the hospital to let them know and they got back to me with our early pregnancy scan date - 3rd September! I can't wait.
I received the biggest and loveliest bunch of flowers I have ever seen this morning! My IPs are so lovely and thoughtful x x x

Monday, 17 August 2009

"A grand adventure is about to begin"

We tested yesterday (3 times!!!) and every one was a lovely Big Fat Positive!!!
We are all over the moon. Due date is 26th April 2010. We will let the hospital know and they will do a scan at 6 weeks to look for a heartbeat/s.
I am so excited and nervous all at the same time!
Today we are 4 weeks pregnant :-)

Tuesday, 11 August 2009

"All the flowers of all the tomorrows are in the seeds of today"

IM had her egg collection on Monday. They managed to retrieve 19 eggs which we all thought was fantastic! But unfortunately only 3 fertilised, one of which was not good enough to use or freeze.

It was a real shame, especially after everything IM went through. But at least we had two good embryos we could use for transfer. The hospital wanted to do a 2 day transfer to get the embryos inside me nice and early. So on Wednesday we all met at the hospital at 10am for our transfer appointment.

The transfer went well. It was a little uncomfortable as I had to have a full bladder for it, but it wasn't painful at all. IM came into the room with me and it was nice to have a familiar face there. It all felt very surreal. I couldn't believe that after months of appointments, we were finally there.

So now there are two little dots inside me. I just really hope that at least one of them holds on. The 2 week wait feels very long! I can't wait to find out if it's worked or not. I really, really hope it has worked but I don't want to get my hopes up too much. I'm just doing my best to be healthy and relaxed over the next few days.