Sunday 21 September 2008

"This very moment is a seed from which the flowers of tomorrow's happiness grow"

On Thursday I received an absolutely gorgeous bunch of flowers from my IP's with a card saying "Thank you for being our surrogate and new friend". That really made me smile :-)

I'm currently going over the specimen agreement form from COTS. Once we're all happy with things, we'll arrange an agreement session where we all sit down with a support worker and agree on some of the important decisions surrounding the pregnancy, birth and beyond.

IM has a clinic appointment booked for 28th October so she called and told them she has found a surrogate. They told her to invite me to the appointment. So I'm going to meet them earlier in the day and have lunch together before going to the appointment and asking any questions that we have.

I'm very excited about it. I'm really looking forward to helping the IP's have the baby they deserve. We all get on so well, it's as if we've known each other for years!

Tuesday 16 September 2008

Welcome to my journey ...

I'll begin by introducing myself. I am a young married mother from Kent (UK) with two children aged 1 and 3. We live in a small seaside village and have very busy lives! I run a small theatre school and am just about to open a second school. I am also studying part-time for a BA(Hons) in Theatre Studies. My dh (darling husband) works full time as a police officer. I am also secretary for my son's playschool committee.

I have always been fascinated by pregnancy and birth. I am very lucky that my children were conceived easily and I had very straight-forward pregnancies. I also enjoyed relatively quick and easy births (I know some people will think 'enjoyed' is going a bit far, but I truly do enjoy giving birth). My ds (darling son) was a hospital birth and my dd (darling daughter) was a planned homebirth.

We have decided not to have any more children. We love our babies very much and feel that our family is now complete. But I love being pregnant and felt sad that I wouldn't get to experience it again.

When I first heard about surrogacy, I was intrigued. The idea of helping someone else to have the baby they so desired really appealed to me. It felt as if this was something I was made to do. I love being pregnant and could do it again so happily. There are so many people out there who can't have a baby and I started to feel a burning desire to help them. Someone pointed me in the directions of COTS (Childlessness Overcome Through Surrogacy) but at the time I didn't feel ready. A few months later, and after lots of discussion with dh, I decided to join.

A couple of weeks later, COTS sent a support worker to visit me in my home. We talked through all the pros and cons, and I came away feeling even more excited about my decision. I always felt that Host (Gestational IVF) surrogacy was for me because I didn't want the baby to be biologically related to me.

Soon, COTS sent me some details of couples looking for a Host surrogate. I spent some time getting to know one couple but things just didn't feel right. Then I met a couple who were perfect! I chatted to the IM (Intended Mother) on the phone and we just clicked straight away. We arranged to meet up and quickly became good friends. The IF (Intended Father) is so nice and they both already feel like old friends. I can talk to them for hours without running out of things to say!

So that brings me to now. The IP's and I are still getting to know each other better, but we have decided to start the slow process that is Host surrogacy. There's a lot to work out with the clinic and starting the IVF process, but that gives us plenty of time to get to know each other more.

I hope to share my journey through this blog, the ups and the downs. I also hope it gives people a better insight into the world of surrogacy - a real option for couples in the UK.

PLEASE NOTE - Surrogacy in the UK is not the same as in the US. It is illegal to advertise for surrogates or advertise yourself as a surrogate in the UK. COTS is a voluntary organisation who provide support to surrogates and intended parents through every step of their journey together. Surrogates in the UK do not benefit financially from the arrangement - they receive only compensation for the expenses they incur.