Sunday 28 December 2008

Counselling

I haven't posted lately as there hasn't been much to report.

My dh and I have an appointment booked at the hospital for our counselling in January. The IPs also have a counselling appointment booked with a different counsellor (to avoid conflict of interest). Once we've all had counselling and a 'cooling off period' we can go ahead with the first transfer.

I'm very keen to get started and I feel certain that I want to do this for my IPs. But the hospital insist on taking things slowly which I guess I understand. They don't want any of us to rush into anything we might regret. But I'm sure I won't regret it. I cant wait to help my IPs have their baby and I'm really excited about the future!

Saturday 1 November 2008

Hospital Appointment

On Tuesday we went to an appointment at the IP's hospital. We met up beforehand for lunch which was lovely.

The appointment went well. The hospital seem to know what they're doing and said they've had several successful surrogacy arrangements go through them before, which is reassuring. We all have to have counselling first, with a cooling-off period to make sure we are all 100% happy. We are looking at around March 09 to start transfers.

They prefer to do drug cycles so that they have total control over my cycle and the IM's cycle. But this way we can easily do a fresh transfer which has the best chance of success. They will transfer 2 embryos at a time, unless I'd prefer just one at a time. But I think I'm okay with doing two. I want to give the IP's the best possible chance.

I'm really excited about the road ahead! I'm just waiting for my first counselling appointment now and we can get cracking!

Sunday 26 October 2008

The next step ...

I'm so excited about Tuesday! My IP's have an appointment at their hospital to discuss the surrogacy and I will be going with them. We've arranged to meet up beforehand and they're treating me to lunch. I'm not sure what to expect at the appointment but I assume we will talk about the hospitals IVF process and whatever options we have. We're hoping to get started in the New Year.

I have been reading about the different IVF processes and it's all a little bit daunting! But I don't have any doubts that this is what I want to do. I'm so excited about the journey ahead.

I will post more after we've been to the appointment ...

Tuesday 14 October 2008

Agreement Session

On Sunday my IPs came to my house for our Agreement Session. We were joined by a support worker from COTS who talked us through the form and made sure we were all happy with how we were going to proceed.

The session went very well and we all came away feeling happy about everything. There were difficult issues on the form but I had completed a specimen form prior to the meeting so the IPs knew what to expect. I decided that I could not agree to a termination if there was anything wrong with the baby and the IPs have had time to talk that through and decide that they are okay with it. I also don't want to have an amnio because of the risk of miscarriage but the IPs don't particularly want one either. If an amnio, or worse still, a termination, are advised by a doctor at any time, then I will consider all the information and discuss it with the IPs before making a decision, but I need them to know that I can't make any promises. I have to remember to be true to my own beliefs.

We also talked about who would be present at the birth. I know dh doesn't want to be there. He hated seeing me in pain with our own babies and I don't want to put him through that again. So I have asked my mum to be there instead. But I am also happy for both IPs to be there which they are really happy about. I think it's important because it's their child after all. It's one of those precious moments in life and I want them to be able to experience that.

I can't believe I'm actually going to be pregnant again! I'm so excited and I couldn't imagine doing it for anyone else. My IPs are getting excited, too. We have the first clinic appointment in a couple of weeks and I can't wait to find out more. If all goes well, we'd like to start in January.

Sunday 21 September 2008

"This very moment is a seed from which the flowers of tomorrow's happiness grow"

On Thursday I received an absolutely gorgeous bunch of flowers from my IP's with a card saying "Thank you for being our surrogate and new friend". That really made me smile :-)

I'm currently going over the specimen agreement form from COTS. Once we're all happy with things, we'll arrange an agreement session where we all sit down with a support worker and agree on some of the important decisions surrounding the pregnancy, birth and beyond.

IM has a clinic appointment booked for 28th October so she called and told them she has found a surrogate. They told her to invite me to the appointment. So I'm going to meet them earlier in the day and have lunch together before going to the appointment and asking any questions that we have.

I'm very excited about it. I'm really looking forward to helping the IP's have the baby they deserve. We all get on so well, it's as if we've known each other for years!

Tuesday 16 September 2008

Welcome to my journey ...

I'll begin by introducing myself. I am a young married mother from Kent (UK) with two children aged 1 and 3. We live in a small seaside village and have very busy lives! I run a small theatre school and am just about to open a second school. I am also studying part-time for a BA(Hons) in Theatre Studies. My dh (darling husband) works full time as a police officer. I am also secretary for my son's playschool committee.

I have always been fascinated by pregnancy and birth. I am very lucky that my children were conceived easily and I had very straight-forward pregnancies. I also enjoyed relatively quick and easy births (I know some people will think 'enjoyed' is going a bit far, but I truly do enjoy giving birth). My ds (darling son) was a hospital birth and my dd (darling daughter) was a planned homebirth.

We have decided not to have any more children. We love our babies very much and feel that our family is now complete. But I love being pregnant and felt sad that I wouldn't get to experience it again.

When I first heard about surrogacy, I was intrigued. The idea of helping someone else to have the baby they so desired really appealed to me. It felt as if this was something I was made to do. I love being pregnant and could do it again so happily. There are so many people out there who can't have a baby and I started to feel a burning desire to help them. Someone pointed me in the directions of COTS (Childlessness Overcome Through Surrogacy) but at the time I didn't feel ready. A few months later, and after lots of discussion with dh, I decided to join.

A couple of weeks later, COTS sent a support worker to visit me in my home. We talked through all the pros and cons, and I came away feeling even more excited about my decision. I always felt that Host (Gestational IVF) surrogacy was for me because I didn't want the baby to be biologically related to me.

Soon, COTS sent me some details of couples looking for a Host surrogate. I spent some time getting to know one couple but things just didn't feel right. Then I met a couple who were perfect! I chatted to the IM (Intended Mother) on the phone and we just clicked straight away. We arranged to meet up and quickly became good friends. The IF (Intended Father) is so nice and they both already feel like old friends. I can talk to them for hours without running out of things to say!

So that brings me to now. The IP's and I are still getting to know each other better, but we have decided to start the slow process that is Host surrogacy. There's a lot to work out with the clinic and starting the IVF process, but that gives us plenty of time to get to know each other more.

I hope to share my journey through this blog, the ups and the downs. I also hope it gives people a better insight into the world of surrogacy - a real option for couples in the UK.

PLEASE NOTE - Surrogacy in the UK is not the same as in the US. It is illegal to advertise for surrogates or advertise yourself as a surrogate in the UK. COTS is a voluntary organisation who provide support to surrogates and intended parents through every step of their journey together. Surrogates in the UK do not benefit financially from the arrangement - they receive only compensation for the expenses they incur.